Thank you all for your patience. You guys are sreiously awesome
.And now I have a double update for you!
CHAPTER 6
EXTREME OWNAGE FTW
OR
I SUPPORT THE PIRATE-NINJA ALLIANCE
plasmoidmonkey smashed a n00b over the head with his rifle and unloaded a stream of phazon blasts into him. Whirling around, he blocked an emo’s sword strike with a bone blade on his arm and revved up his chainsaw bayonet.
The battle was far fiercer than plasmoidmonkey had expected. His forces had managed to breach the fortress’s walls, but unfortunately the QC had shot down the mumakil who did it right there so it was effectively blocked, keeping the battle in stalemate.
The hum of engines filled the air. plasmoidmonkey paused his phazon-powered rampage to see the GTTTC Buttkicker fly into view over the battle. The hangar doors opened, spewing dozens of LAAT/Is and jet-troopers.
“Nice. Arc_Commander’s here. Now it’s a party.”
Adjuntant_Reflex turned to MandaRek, who was hanging from his ankles beside him.
“I hate you.” The level 43 SPARTAN growled.
“How was I supposed to know that was booby trap?” the level 42 clone trooper said sheepishly.
“Perhaps because of the big writing on the wall that said ‘note to all QC soldiers, booby trap ahead’!!!”
“Silence!” the torturer screamed before spanking them both again with a huge, unwieldy paddle.
“I hate you.” Adjuntant_Reflex said again as he gritted his teeth in pain.
The two GTers had been captured by the QC earlier that morning, due to a failed attempt at infiltrating a base by tagging along with one of the QC’s routine patrols.
The sound of a lightsaber humming in the hallway outside interrupted their punishment as the door was blown off its hinges and the jock spanker impaled on a red lightsaber.
Their rescuer was none other than RevanSithLord, level 66 Jedi Guardian. He was a rather average looking person, brown hair, blue eyes, Jedi robes, twin red and blue lightsabers in his hands and a short saber and saber whip on his belt.
“Oooookay…… I am not even gonna ask why you two guys are hanging by your ankles in your skivvies.” He sliced through the cords that tied them to the ceiling. The two other GTers crashed to the floor.
“Ow…thanks Revan.” Adjuntant_Reflex said, rubbing his head.
“You guys might want to pull yourselves together and get your stuff back soon.” He punched a conveniently placed vending machine, grabbed the can, leaned against the wall and took a swig of diet Pepsi. “We still have to break out of here.”
Hebes24 ducked a rogue missile as it streaked just inches above his head. Standing back up he tagged the spam-man who launched it with a quick round from his rifle.
“This is ridiculous.” Hebes’s voice came over the helmet loudspeakers. “We outnumber them ten to one and they aren’t retreating or surrendering. This isn’t like them.”
“I know.” Hebes24 answered his AI. “This is just like Happy Land all over again.” He downed another spam-man.
“Wait! I’m intercepting an intermission! They’re pulling out!”
“Still doesn’t make that much sense. I mean, chocolate, toxic waste, and happyinium don’t do anything when put together.”
“I got nuthin’.” Might as well blow ‘em up while you still can.”
“Will do.” He threw a phazon grenade at a nearby troll. The explosive stuck to his chest, but was swiftly disintegrated by the gigantic light sword that impaled the creature.
“That was my PK!” Hebes24 shouted.
“Gotta be quicker than that.” Xavious smiled back at him.
Master Big Faceless Guy in Black Cloak was pleased. His objectives were completed. He had all the ingredients necessary for his Unbeatable Plan of World Domination and the total victory of the All-Mighty Covenant of Harry Potter Shippers.
This is a great day for the Covenant!” He boomed into the microphone. The entire main base stopped what they were doing to listen. “We are nearing completion of our Ultimate Weapon of Amazingly Diabolical Doom! As celebration, Brother Deoderant_Squid will recite his epic fanfic “Extreme Romance of the Magical Kind” at eight o’clock sharp. All those who do not attend will be promptly executed. So if you don’t like p0rn0 literature, tough [word not allowed]! Good day.” He leaned back in his chair. “It is too sad that the foolish infidels of games and toast have not accepted the Glorious and Luminary All-Mighty Covenant of Harry Potter Shippers. Deodorant_Squid’s tales are legendary.”
CHAPTER 7
O RLY?
OR
YEA RLY
plasmoidmonkey stood the main computer console in the base’s central command. After ARC_Commander’s forces had arrived, they had easily pushed through to the QC citadel and annihilated it. It was quite fun actually, though the extended phazon hypermode had taken a serious toll on plasmoidmonkey’s stamina.
The GTer pulled out a computer spike and slid it into the slot on the console. The screen came alive as the device hacked its way into the network. His eyes scanned the list of files.
“Now let’s see, no, don’t want to play solitaire now, no, don’t need the eBay shopping list, no no. Hmm this might be it…whoa. I think I’m gonna need some mind soap.” He exited the screen and popped a small mint-green pill into his mouth. As the foam in his cranium began to subside, he continued his search. “Ah, here’s the e-mail. Let’s see here…ignore this text it contains words from our spam filter…ignore this text it contains words from our spam filter…ignore this text it contains words from our spam filter…oh, I did not need to read that…insurance…home-loan payments…ignore this text it contains words from our spam filter…more insurance…more home loan stuff…something from a guy named Greg…ignore this text it contains words from our spam filter…chain letter…another chain letter…another chain letter…ignore this text it contains words from our spam filter again…wish I didn’t see that…or that…or that…or…what the
hell is that?” He swallowed three more mind soap pills. “This looks good. ‘Important announcement’. Hmmm. Something about an Ultimate Weapon of Amazingly Diabolical Doom, yawn, from MBFGiBC@conveniantlyplacedQCheadquartersintheearth’score.com. Good enough for me.” He loaded the file onto the spike and removed the mechanism. “Better get this back to Empire Command.”
The GT capital was abuzz with activity. The celebration of the victory in Texas and the AE, the upcoming arrival of Christmas, and the preparations for the invasion of the QCHQ at the earth’s core were all well under way. All GTers had been pulled from their respective positions and brought back to the capital city. With defeats like they had at Texas and the Antarctic Empire, the QC wouldn’t have enough manpower to launch an attack before the GT invasion.
plasmoidmonkey took another bite of lasagna and leaned back in his chair. He looked over the rail at the ground floor of the spaceport below. A large crowd had gathered around the exit ramp of the latest ship to dock. They milled around excitedly, eagerly awaiting the passengers to disembark.
The ramp lowered and a group of figures walked out. plasmoidmonkey’s fork froze halfway to his mouth.
Leviathan himself walked out of the ship, followed by none other than Vyse, who was in turn followed by Rends. Behind them were two more figures, one a heavy-set, bespectacled young man who looked to be in his early twenties, the other a thin man of around the same age, without glasses. plasmoidmonkey recognized them easily as the geniuses MasakoX and Vegeta3986, creators of Naruto Abridged. The fivesome made their way through the crowd, which clustered around them, hoping for a handshake or autograph. For many n00bs it was the first time they had seen a legend like Leviathan or Vyse or Rends. plasmoidmonkey was speechless except for one word.
“Whoa.”
Wow, that was a long update. So the legends have arrived for battle. This will be fun
Enjoy.
Where's Plasmoidmonkey
