Now... Listen my Friends!
Christmas 2007
Christmas 2008'Twas the night before Christmas and all through GameToast,
Not a member was stirring not even the host.
They'd all crossed their fingers as they went to bed,
And the thought of morning was causing them dread
For they wished for Battlefront III to be here,
For that is a wish we GTers hold dear.
But our hopes are all futile and wishes in vain,
For we know LucasArts will never be sane.
That was the mindset of GT '07,
As ShadowHawk's watch read 18 past 11.
He had had a small meal, worked on ShadowLan some
Now the Lays are calling ”Just come and eat one”
So away to the chips He flew like a flash,
He ran down the hallway and then fell, with a crash.
So then he got up from off of the carpet
And found a small gift he had bought at the market
The gift in his hand he went straight for the tree
But then stopped with a gasp at what he did see
Because under the tree, all over the floor
He could see gifts, packages and boxes galore.
"For, Guru! For, Teancum! For, Zerted and Qdin!
To, Penguin! To FragMe!! To, Bandu and Fusion!
He was wondering where all the gifts had come from.
When from under the tree he spied someone’s thumb,
And attached to this thumb was a man with a hat.
Who was snoring away with a sound like a gat.
“Who is this strange man in my house?” Shadow thought.
“And what is inside all of these boxes he brought?”
So he went to his room to find his old bat.
Then he went back and woke the man with a pat.
So then ShadowHawk said in a voice loud and clear,
“I don't know who you are, but you have much to fear.”
“You broke into my house and left gifts everywhere,”
“And if you are Santa Claus where are your reindeer?”
Then the strange man spoke, giving Shadow a look,
“I am not Santa Claus neither am I a crook...”
“But I came to your house to distribute some gifts.”
“But it looks like my actions have left you quite miffed.”
But then the stranger got a glint in his eye.
And said “Open a package and see what's inside...”
So Hawk strained and tugged on an unwieldy box
And felt as if he was breaking into Fort Knox.
The box finally opened so he looked down inside,
And a wonderful present in there he did spy.
Under the tissue in the box he had opened,
Was another box. (it said LucasArt and Pandemic he noted)
Hawk raised his eyebrow and said “Wow, finally!”
'Cause the heading read Star Wars Battlefront 3
Looking up in awe Shadow searched for his guest,
But his search was useless, perhaps for the best.
The man had gone and left naught but a letter.
Hawk sighed and thought “This gets better and better.”
The communiqué read “To My friend ShadowHawk,”
“I hope you like this, I helped give it what it's got.”
“[Off-Topic]Though I'm gone, Don't be down and heavy.”
"So, Happy Christmas to all. From your friend, Levy.”
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through GT
Not a user was on, not a member to see.
They’d all hit the sack, hit the road, gone to bed
All dreaming a dream that most thought to be dead.
For the game that delivered, oh, late last year
Was an NDA test, with terms quite severe.
Although good for the few that received it that day
They were the few ones who could BF3, play.
Teancum was up at eleven o’ three
Placing the last packages beneath the tree
He had been one of the lucky, and the few
Who received the sequel to Battlefront 2.
He had played each map to a crazy extreme
And the campaign was a feature made in a dream.
Public release is what he longed for the most.
So he could finally tell all the kids at Gametoast.
Why was Pandemic taking so long to complete
A game beta-ed last year? It bordered deceit.
Teancum got up out from under the fir
When out of the dark there came, “Good evening, good sir.”
He wheeled around to see a man pointing a gun
Tean looked for a weapon but found he had none.
‘Gun’ had on a suit and looked very dapper
He looked very much like your textbook kidnapper
The gun went *KAPOW* and Tean fell to the floor
And as he blacked out he remembered no more
He awoke with a groan and reached hand to his face.
And was relieved that it was still in its right place
He looked ‘round his cell and found naught but a door
T’ banged on the portal yelling, “What was this for!”
“What did I do to deserve a wrong such as this?”
“What dastardly plan will I be made to assist?”
The door started to open and screeched as it did,
The people behind it by darkness were hid
“Come with me,” Gun called as the rest stepped to one side
Tean’s options weren’t good so he followed his guide.
He was led from the cell to a tunnel of earth
It was dark in there and that caused him no mirth
Then they entered a room that was bright and airy
Tean entered the room ready and wary
Then suddenly all of the people applauded
“So this,” said Gun, “is the one GT has lauded?”
Tean said, “Who are you and what is it you want?”
Gun said, “We’re the makers of your loved Battlefront.”
“We’ve been moved here to the frozen south pole”
“So we’ll not be distracted, we’ve only one goal.”
“We’ll finish this game if it’s the last thing we do”
“But we now need some help. Tean, we need you.”
So Tean helped them out and made it like new.
(Something about being a power of two)
He woke the next morning asleep on his couch
His head hurt a bit and he had gained a slight slouch.
He thought, “Where have I been? Was it all just a dream?”
But he then found a card from the BF3 team.
“We thank you for your help, we are glad you’re not dead.”
“Merry Christmas to all from: Dev Pshyc0fred.”
